stress management

if a person admits that 'i'm mad', does it means he's not mad? becos if he is really mad, then he wouldnt admit that...right? if a person is suffering from depression, does he knows?

why did i bring this up, is because sometimes i think i have some issues..mental issues..im not mad, crazy, retarted or perverted by the way...its just..sometimes i get so stressed out that i feel like im gonna explode...recently i felt that feeling...and what came after that was a bruised wrist.. do i really have mental problems? or is the way i handle stress..stress management...or anger management...whatever you call it.. i guess if i can say that about myself, does that makes me a normal person?

am i the only person feeling that before? i think, perhaps not. i am jus one out of a few million people who have been in the same situation before.. do i need a doctor? what should i say to the doctor?

i been to the doctor 2 days ago cos of migraine (again). then he was telling me, 'take the medicine, have a good sleep. don be too stress', to which i reply..how to? doc, i think u have to try harder than that to talk to patients like me...

but i admit..my boiling point seems to have reduced..sometimes i flare up uncontrollably.. i dont know why..it just gets to me..and after that i really really regret in getting so pissed.. why do i make myself so miserable. i could have taken things in a different way..and not ending up hurting myself and other people.

shouting out loud is a very good way to relieve stress..yeah..remeber all the shows about shouting when an aeroplane flies past? thats wat im talkin about. for those who drive, when you want to relieve your stress, just put on your favourite track, better to be a fast tune, rock tune, something you can sing along..then drive FAST, i mean really FAST, and sing along as you whizz past the other cars..be careful of TPs though..

it works for me at least.

my music journey

im talking about my love for music..i think i first got hook on pop songs when i was very young... that was..primary 2? i know i can sing 'wu yan de jie ju" at that time...HAHA...

as i grow older, under the influence of my eldest bro (he started to play the cassettes at home), i listen to the likes of depeche mode, debbie gibson etc..that was late 80s..i was quite a fan of michael jackson, new kids on the block, bon jovi..and Bros (my fav!)..i still remeber i sticked the bros pics all over my folder...

as I went in secondary school..i started to listen to english pop songs..all kinds of genre...then at sec 3 i suddenly switch to slow rock..and guns n roses...n also the canto band beyond...they (beyond) really inspired me alot...then i start to listen to all kinds of rock...canto, classic, metal..

this rock scene continued till poly days...i was so inspired that i bought my very first acoustic guitar with the salary i earned from poly attachment...i start to learn by myself..wasnt very successful though...

then came the chinese pop..i used to think i cannot stand chinese songs..i canot remeber which was the first few i listen to..but i guess listening to canto pop does affects a little..

i ever tried to write my own songs..during classes in poly days..i would just scribble bits of here n there...i think the songs are mostly about 'breaking free" etc...very Beyond style..HAHA..

i was in the army when I played my very first 'gig'..it was a Mid autumn celebration and the 4 of us put up a performance of a few songs..the details

vocal- Neo
Guitar- Me
Guitar- Hock
Drums - Tang

it was funny..the drum consists of a snarl and cymbal..the bass drum is made up of plastic chair.. HAHA..i think Tang was already half drunk when we started playing.. we did "leaving on a jet plane", "what's up", "dreams", "with or without u"..not sure if there's more? its very memorable..even up to this day..

after i left that camp, went to another place when i met Mark n choonseng ( if i remeber correctly)..mark is a very talented guitarist and choonseng had his own chinese band...he's playing bass by the way..we often chat about music and it wasnt long we jam together at one of our nights off..i started to play the drums then..

after i ORD, i met Norman..my colleague of first job..turns out he is also interested in jamming..
he roped in his frens and we are

guitar-don
guitar-norman
bass-victor
drums-me

sometimes we switched the positions..diff song, diff positions..HAHA..then we ask another colleague, Chan, to play with us..he is good.. so we had

vocal-don
guitar-norman
guitar-chan
bass- victor
drums - me

its was quite complete and we jam together 3-4 times only..we played songs from 3 doors down, nirvana, beyond, zhang zhen yue, red hot chilli peppers, and even jay chou..i gave our band the name "D'cifer"...HAHA...but after that..due to work and other stuff..we stopped jamming..

all this while i would love to learn to play bass...i think its kinda cool...then few wks back i rcv a sms from Norman, saying he found some new players..n ask me to get ready for jammin...am keeping my fingers crossed..;-)

comfortably numb

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.